God has uniquely
created women to naturally possess a nurturing, maternal character in order to
fulfil her God-given duty of pro-creating with her husband (Genesis 1:28), and looking
after her household. While man is to work as the ‘bread winner’ (Genesis3:16-19) These roles among many others are important roles to fill in the life
of a family as the mother plays a significant and central part to the
nurturing, care and general upbringing of the family. Generally speaking,
mothers who are faithful, God fearing women in our community especially, also
do their utmost to encourage their husbands and children in their faith through
their own words and actions (1 Peter 3:1-2).
So where does
humility fit in to our lives as women in the church? And how can we be humble? Well as followers and imitators of
Christ (Ephesians 5:1-2), we are to emulate the relationship we have with Christ
our Lord with those around us. Namely, just as we love and serve Christ as our
Lord, we are called to share this love, servitude and subjection to others in
the way that God has deemed appropriate according to His order of creation.
St. Paul teaches in Ephesians 5:21 that we are to submit to
one another out of reverence for Christ. Both men and women of the Church must
be subject in service to one another in the Lord. And from this, St.
Paul further elaborates on God’s order of creation and teaches us that women must
be subject to their husbands as to the Lord… For man is the head of the
wife as also Christ is the head of the Church (Ephesians 5:23). Whether you
are currently a single woman or married, these verses from God’s word apply to
you. For God is teaching us about the order in which He wants us to live,
and draws a parallel to the submissive order of relationship between Christ to
the Father, The Church (Christ’s Bride)
to Christ (the Bridegroom) and in the same way the wife is to be subject
to her husband.
St
John Chrysostom explains the cause of woman’s subjection to man; For with us
indeed the woman is reasonably subjected to the man: since equality of honour causeth
contention. And not for this cause only, but by reason also of the deceit (1Tim. ii. 14.) which happened in the beginning. Wherefore you see, she was not
subjected as soon as she was made; nor, when He brought her to the man, did
either she hear any such thing from God, nor did the man say any such word to
her: he said indeed that she was “bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh:”
(Gen. ii. 23.) but of rule or subjection he nowhere made mention unto her. But
when she made an ill use of her privilege [sinned against God] and she
who had been made a helper was found to be an ensnarer and ruined all, then she
is justly told for the future, “thy turning shall be to thy husband.” (Gen.iii.16.)1
If you are
single with the intent to marry, it is important for you to grow in your faith
and humility in the Lord before seeking a husband, so you will be able to
accept and follow this command in your future household. If you are already
married, it is also important for you to continually grow in your faith and
humility, because being subject to your husband can be a bit of a challenge at
times (believe me, I know :).
With this being
said about the importance of a woman being subject to her husband in faithful
humility, we will turn to the writings of St Peter who further teaches women
about their Godly role in marriage and their faithful obligations.
Unlike the
secular world’s teaching about beauty, St. Peter (who was married) states that women
of God should not fixate themselves on outward beauty alone, but on the
more important beauty as seen in God’s eyes which is ‘the hidden person of the
heart, and a gentle and quiet spirit. (1 Peter 3:3-4) These attributes are
precious in the sight of God, and should also be precious in the sight you, a
woman of God and for God fearing men who you relate with.
The Humble Characteristics of a Christian Wife or (wife to
be to attain now):
2.
Godly conduct: Husbands will observe your chaste
conduct accompanied by fear (of God) and be encouraged by your faithfulness. (1Peter 3:2)
3.
Gentle and quiet spirit: The true beauty of the heart; which is
incorruptible beauty and very precious in the sight of GOD. (1 Peter3:3-5)
We can also learn
much about how a humble women is to live her life under Christ’s Lordship in
every situation and circumstance when we look to the various women in the Bible
and throughout Church history and learn from their examples of living in Godly
humility:
Sarah – willingly and without disagreement with
her husband, followed Abraham as their household left the security of their
known life in Ur to faithfully act upon
God’s command to pack up and go to an unknown country (Genesis 12:4-5), even risking her own
life at the hands of the King of Gerar at her husband’s command. (Genesis 20:1-7).
St. Peter mentions how Sarah humbly called her husband ‘Lord’.
St Mary the
blessed virgin - grew up in humility and faithfulness to God and openly
accepted His will and calling for her life no matter how difficult it would be.
The mother of our Lord Jesus Christ continued to live a humble life with John
the Apostle as her son, even after Christ’s resurrection. (Luke 1:46-48)
Mary Magdalene –
Was a sinful woman who turned to Christ and was humbled by His forgiving love
and acceptance, thus leading her to repent from her sinful life and follow Him
throughout her days. (Luke 7:37-38)
Lydia – Was a
business woman of the day, who believed in God and accepted Christ. She ensured
her whole household was baptized and showed loving hospitality toward St. Paul
and his companions (Acts 16:14-15). She was a mother who taught her household
by upholding humble and God fearing characteristics.
St. Shmooni - Taught her sons to stand up for their faith in God, even in the face of their
martyrdom. She accepted the same fete for herself instead of disowning God with
her youngest son and living a life in obedience to the pagan authorities. She
is a great personification of a humble and God fearing mother. (Refer to St.Shmooni biography in 'Saints' Page)
Today, the big
‘S' word; submission (Aramaic word is mishtah-bdheen, which actually
means servitude or subjection) has become a taboo to mention among women in our
post-modern culture. For as soon as we mention that woman is to submit to man
as her head, we start to see feminist flags being waived in protest… due to
fear. Fear of inequality, fear that man will take advantage of
our submission and treat us like a living ‘doormat’ and fear that God
will not stand up for a woman who is living a submissive life to please Him and
live in a way worthy of being called His daughter. Fear, as we have mentioned
before, creeps into our lives when we are experiencing a lack of faith.
St. Chrysostom
addresses this subject of Christian men taking advantage of woman’s subjection to them in
his 26th Homily: For surely it comes of extreme lawlessness when
thy partner of life, she who in the most intimate relations and in the highest
degree, is united with thee; when she, like a base slave, is dishonoured by
thee. Wherefore also such a man, if indeed one must call him a man and not
rather a wild beast, I should say, was like a parricide and a murderer of his
mother. For if for a wife’s sake we were commanded to leave even our father and
mother, not wronging them but fulfilling a divine law; and a law so grateful to
our parents themselves that even they, the very persons whom we are leaving,
are thankful, and bring it about with great eagerness; what but extreme frenzy
can it be to insult her [the wife] for whose sake God bade us leave even our
parents? 2
When we read the
verses of 1 Peter3:1-6 in their immediate context, and read the verses following
1 Peter 3:7-9; St. Peter is also teaching husbands by the same token to
‘likewise’ or ‘in the same way’ dwell with your wives with understanding,
giving honour to the wife as the weaker vessel, and being heirs together
(sharing equality in Christ) of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be
hindered.
We see that
Christian men are called to an even greater duty and obligation of honouring their
wives as their own body (Ephesians 5:25-29), and being understanding towards
their needs as the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7). “Weaker vessel” is not a
derogatory way of describing the woman as incompetent, but truly God has
created us to be mothers and nurturers with a softer more emotional side (we
see satan tempts Eve first, as he would have known she is more vulnerable due
to her emotionally influenced rational (Genesis 3:1-7). It is scientifically proven that
women are generally more emotionally driven than men, and sometimes this can be
a weakness, especially when it comes to relational matters. Sometimes our emotions can also be hormonally
influenced.
In all of these
matters and for God’s will to prevail and guide our lives in this sinful age,
we are called to attain and improve our “beauty” as women; the true and
unfading beauty of a woman in God’s eyes and in the eyes of God’s sons is the
beauty that comes from a humble heart, who loves to reflect the example of
Christ her Lord, and chooses to clothe herself in Him (Colossians 3:12), glory be
to His name. For just as the famous Proverbs 31 wife exemplifies; Charm is deceptive
and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs
31:30). I remember mentioning this verse to an old friend of mine, who later
became my husband. He said this stole his heart, especially when he saw it in
action.
Just like our
physical beauty, we do have days that we struggle to look our best spiritually,
but importantly, our Godly beauty is one that only gets better with time. This
is the noble character that God delights to see in His faithful daughters who
should be living to please Him as the number one man in her life.
Let the
humility of the Crucified One” (The Sliwa) forever stand as a reminder to us of
the humility, love and forgiveness that our Lord unworthily showed us and let
us look up to Him in reverence and Godly beauty; which is humility,
submissiveness and love, for His sake and for the glory of His Name.
Next week: Why do women cover their head
in Church?
This week’s song: Lead me to the Cross –
Brooke Fraser
1.
Saint Chrysostom: Homilies
on the Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians; Homily XXVI, p.p. 233
2.
Saint Chrysostom: Homilies
on the Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians; Homily XXVI, p.p. 241
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